You can't choose your family.

You can't choose your family. That was once told to me by my brother-in-law. I never really gave it much thought, but as I am approaching 40 years of age I have been reflecting on my life. I don't speak too much of my family by choice. Mostly it would be religion that keeps us separated, but that's not the only reason. Similarly it's differences in opinions and an unwillingness to budge that keeps us from even simple communications. One example is that I have 4 children but for some reason my biological mother (I was adopted) despite having raised a step daughter only see me as having 2 kids. I was also told to leave my kids behind to pursue a better career was acceptable. Taking their mother from them and even sending my step daughter back to her natural father was the advice I was given. Now I love all of my kids, and could not do that to them or to their mother. So I don't budge again. My biological mother also seldom offers words of encouragement. I was told that stained glass art was to hard to just go out and try. That one should take classes and only start with designs that are simple, to not try to invent or create anything as it's so damm hard. Well The picture I have added was my first attempt to do stained glass without a single class. It goes over a tea light candle and looks cool. It was easy for me even though it wasn't a flat typical project.
So what have I learned? You can't choose your family, but you can chouse if you listen to them. If they don't offer encouragement, then find encouragement else where. If they don't accept you for who you are, perhaps they aren't worth talking to. Also if they only offer opinions that are offered to hurt you or your loved ones (like my sister tried to do to not just me, but several members of my family) then it's just best to not talk to them.
On the other hand, you can't choose your family but you can choose to be a better person. Encourage your kids. Accept their opinions. Make demands on them only if what they want could risk their life (like stopping them from playing in the road) but let them explore when ever possible. Accept that what you find difficult may be a breeze for them and there is nothing wrong with that. Wealth is great but it can never buy back years lost with the ones you love. Hell I may be poor, but I get to see my kids and grandchild grow, learn and give them love and guidance. Also, if you want respect, be respectable. You can’t expect even you kids to respect you if your acting like an ass.